Cops for Cancer
This is my wife, Stacey. She was a proud participant in the very successful shave-off in support of a local charity, Cops for Cancer, this past Saturday. She felt compelled to take part this year because cancer continues to affect some of her very close friends and family. I was witness to her hard work and determination to reach and exceed her goal of $2000 – I think her final total was just under $2700. She had incredible support from friends and family (including some of you) and felt like she was making a difference. Until yesterday, that is.
Upon returning to her work as a server at Nathaniel’s restaurant in Owen Sound, her boss and manager refused to acknowledge her presence. When she attempted to talk to her manager, she was ignored. He did not even have the courage to make eye contact with her. Finally, feeling devastated, she asked him if she was needed to which he said "no". She returned home in tears. The disgusted look on their faces made her feel less than human.
After calming down, she called her place of employment to tell them she would be showing up for her shift tomorrow. The dining room manager answered the phone but again refused to talk to her and passed the phone to the owner who proceeded to tell her that she is "laid off for a few months" and to "enjoy more time with the kids". She will not be returning to work at Nathaniel’s mainly because she is stunned by the terrible treatment and the level of ignorance she experienced. Whether or not this is legal remains to be seen, but it is certainly unethical. It may also be sexist as I doubt a male employee who shaved his head would have received the same treatment.
We have already shared this story with a number of friends and the reaction is always the same – disbelief that attitudes like these still exist. Although I have great respect for the owner of Nathaniel’s we will no longer be supporting his business until he does the right thing. I encourage you to share this story and decide for yourself whether or not you should do the same. As my 9 year old daughter said to my wife, "that’s stupid. Looks aren’t everything. It’s about how you do your job". Out of the mouths of babes.
My wife’s beauty shows through with or without her hair.
Peace, Happiness to everyone whether you have hair or not.
Update – Thanks to everyone for their calls and messages. It is good to know that we are not the only ones who think this is wrong. I talked to someone at the Ministry of Labour and it turns out what Stacey’s employers did is not illegal, although she did say it might be a human rights issue. Here is a link to the story in the Sun Times. I won’t be posting a new photo for a few days just in case others want to read the story here. In the future, if you want to give someone the link to this page, click on the permalink (#) at the top of the page and copy and paste it. That way, the link will always bring them to this page, even if I post new pictures.
Update #2 – Things seem to be getting a little out of control. Stacey has been swamped with interview requests from across the country which she is finding overwhelming. Unfortunately, we have also heard some disturbing stories about the treatment of Dan and his restaurant. Everyone needs to remember that screaming and threatening people is not a reasonable solution to any problem. The goal is not to ruin Dan’s life or his business. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to admit and learn from these mistakes. All Stacey wanted to do was to stand up for her beliefs and be a good role model for her daughters. We all need to take the high road. Peace, Happiness.
Update #3 – A recent reader asked if it is still possible to make a contribution to Stacey’s fundraising to show his support. Yes, you can and it is greatly appreciated. You can make a donation on-line by clicking here. Thanks.
Update #4 – Here is a note Stacey posted last night:
What a crazy day. The phone has finally stopped ringing and the e-mails have slowed to a trickle. Thanks so much for all of your kind words. Unfortunately, we have also heard some disturbing stories about the treatment of Dan and his restaurant. The goal is not to ruin Dan’s life or his business.
Dan, for the most part, was a good employer. He made a mistake. But he is still a person and doesn’t deserve to be threatened or harassed. An unreasonable response hurts any cause. A reader of this blog suggested what I think is an effective way to show positive support rather than negative. Heather thinks “donating to your campaign would accomplish so many things all in one. It would:
1. Support what you did
2. Support the very deserving cancer charity,
3. Demonstrate in a very positive way how real/tangible the public support is for you ( so that the Nathaniel’s restauranteurs can see what a mistake they have made).”
Thanks for the great suggestion, Heather. If you agree that this is a good idea and you want to show your support, please click here.
Stacey
Update #5 – Although I realize there are always going to be people who thrive on bashing others, as Stacey’s husband, I feel compelled to defend her character against those who are attacking her.
Stacey tried to talk to her employers on three different occasions well before the shave-off and wrote them a letter on a fourth. In all four instances, their response was the same as it is now – avoidance of the issue. She was never told she would be "laid off" if she shaved her head.
Stacey is not a "glory hound". She was not the one who contacted the media. She simply told her friends what happened – they and public opinion took care of the rest. Yes, I guess she could have refused comment when she was approached by the Sun Times, but Dan and Jeff had already told their side of the story. She felt she had an obligation to tell hers.
Stacey had no idea that this story would snowball so quickly or so large, but when she realized that things were getting out of control, she decided to stop talking to any new press. She declined to be interviewed by Canada AM, ABC news, Good Morning America and numerous radio stations across the country.
There is nothing Stacey is looking forward to more than sitting on her back deck, drinking a coffee while listening to the birds without the phone ringing every few minutes.
Finally, as she has stated on many occasions, Stacey’s goal has never been to destroy Dan or his business. She simply felt compelled to do what was right. For that she should be applauded. So rather than boycotting or trashing Nathaniel’s please show Dan and Jeff that they made a mistake by making a donation to Cops for Cancer. Or when they re-open, go for a meal (I still think Dan has the best food in town) and calmly tell them that you think what they did was wrong. Peace, Happiness.
Update #6 (The Final Update?) – Dan finally issued an "apology" yesterday although Stacey still has yet to receive it personally. She was told of the statement by the media. You can read the statement and the story here and another version here. As Stacey told the media, she is glad Dan finally issued a statement so this can be over. The best thing that came out of this was an additional $8000 for Cops for Cancer and it is still climbing. Thank you again for all of your support. As Heraclitus wrote, "Character is Fate." Let these be the last words on the issue.
Not an update, just a note – If you would like to see another inspiring photo/story related to Cops for Cancer, please have a look at my next photo posted here. Thanks.
